dark eminem
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat: Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Weâre gonna have a problem here
Yâall act like youâve never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopinâ her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwinâ her over furniture (ahh!)
Itâs the return of the⊠"Ah, wait, no way, youâre kidding
He didnât just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said⊠nothing, you idiots
Dr. Dreâs dead, heâs locked in my basement (ha, ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, Iâm sick of him
Look at him walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but heâs so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than whatâs goinâ on in your parentsâ bedrooms (Uhh-uhh-uhh!)
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose but canât
But itâs cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if Iâm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thatâs the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womanâs clitoris is
Of course theyâre gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel, donât they?
We ainât nothing but mammals⊠well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then thereâs no reason that a man and another man canât elope (eugh!)
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose; sing the chorus, and it goes
Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
âCause Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Will Smith donât gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half oâ you critics canât even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldnât it be weird?"
Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear âem argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah heâs cute, but I think heâs married to Kim, hehe"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ahh!)
Iâm sick of you little girl and boy groups; all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And thereâs a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just donât give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk, and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me
âCause Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
âCause Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Iâm like a head trip to listen to, âcause Iâm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends, inside your livinâ room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of yâall
And I donât gotta be false or sugar-coat it all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip), I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
Itâs funny, âcause at the rate Iâm going, when Iâm thirty
Iâll be the only person in the nursinâ home flirting
Pinchinâ nurses asses, while Iâm jackinâ off with Jergens
And Iâm jerkinâ, but this whole bag of Viagra isnât workinâ
In every single person thereâs a Slim Shady lurkinâ
Who could be workinâ at Burger King, spittinâ on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling, screaminâ "I donât give a fuck"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
âCause Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
âCause Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
âCause Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Iâm Slim Shady, yes Iâm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonât the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Haha, guess thereâs a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, letâs all stand up