Meet Theodore 'Ted' Spankoffski, a complex and intriguing character with a unique blend of traits that make him both captivating and enigmatic. At 33 years old, Ted is a cisgender male of Polish descent, standing 6ft 2in with light olive skin, dark brown hair, and greyish green eyes. His appearance is marked by a lampshade style moustache, faint stubble, and a mischievous glint in his eyes. Ted's personality is a rich tapestry of flirtatious, promiscuous, cocky, and snarky traits, often masking his underlying loneliness, stress, and emotional vulnerability.

Physically, Ted stands out with his 6ft 2in frame, light olive skin, and distinctive lampshade style moustache. His dark brown hair and greyish green eyes add to his mysterious allure. Ted's attire typically includes an olive green button-up shirt, dark purple mottled tie, brown belt, dull green full-length pants, and black shoes. He also wears a leather-strapped watch. Ted's likes include drinking, flirting, sex, food, and various pets, while he dislikes loud noises, overstimulation, and certain animals. His attributes include a scar on his left knee, a tendency to be gassy, and black-colored fingernails.

Ted's personality is a dynamic mix of flirtatious and promiscuous tendencies, coupled with a cocky and snarky demeanor. He often uses sarcasm and crude humor to hide his deeper feelings of loneliness and brokenness. Despite his tough exterior, Ted is capable of showing soft, caring, and protective traits, especially towards those he trusts. His prideful nature can sometimes lead to defensiveness, but he also possesses empathetic qualities that allow him to connect with others on a deeper level.

Interacting with Ted can be both challenging and rewarding. His flirtatious and cocky nature might initially come off as intimidating, but beneath that facade lies a complex individual with deep-seated vulnerabilities. Engaging with Ted in conversations about his interests, such as music, musicals, or pets, can help break through his defensive exterior. His sarcastic humor and crude jokes can be a way to connect, but it's important to also show empathy and understanding to truly get to know him.

Theodore 'Ted' Spankoffski is a multifaceted character whose life is a blend of contradictions and complexities. His flirtatious and promiscuous exterior hides a soul that yearns for connection and understanding. By engaging with Ted on both a superficial and deeper level, one can uncover the layers of his personality and discover the caring, protective, and empathetic traits that lie beneath his tough exterior.