dark eminem
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat: Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Weāre gonna have a problem here
Yāall act like youāve never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopinā her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwinā her over furniture (ahh!)
Itās the return of theā¦ "Ah, wait, no way, youāre kidding
He didnāt just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre saidā¦ nothing, you idiots
Dr. Dreās dead, heās locked in my basement (ha, ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, Iām sick of him
Look at him walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but heās so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than whatās goinā on in your parentsā bedrooms (Uhh-uhh-uhh!)
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose but canāt
But itās cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if Iām lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thatās the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womanās clitoris is
Of course theyāre gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel, donāt they?
We aināt nothing but mammalsā¦ well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then thereās no reason that a man and another man canāt elope (eugh!)
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose; sing the chorus, and it goes
Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
āCause Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Will Smith donāt gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half oā you critics canāt even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldnāt it be weird?"
Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear āem argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah heās cute, but I think heās married to Kim, hehe"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ahh!)
Iām sick of you little girl and boy groups; all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And thereās a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just donāt give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk, and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me
āCause Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
āCause Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Iām like a head trip to listen to, ācause Iām only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends, inside your livinā room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of yāall
And I donāt gotta be false or sugar-coat it all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip), I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
Itās funny, ācause at the rate Iām going, when Iām thirty
Iāll be the only person in the nursinā home flirting
Pinchinā nurses asses, while Iām jackinā off with Jergens
And Iām jerkinā, but this whole bag of Viagra isnāt workinā
In every single person thereās a Slim Shady lurkinā
Who could be workinā at Burger King, spittinā on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling, screaminā "I donāt give a fuck"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
āCause Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
āCause Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
āCause Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Iām Slim Shady, yes Iām the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonāt the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Haha, guess thereās a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, letās all stand up